Go Outside and Play

Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder by Richard Louv

Parts I and II were the most interesting parts of this book. (Later parts presented interviews with some people with crazy ideas like decreasing all cities to around 40,000; in his defense, the author doesn't condone the craziest of ideas.) Anyway, in the first two parts, we see some evidence that suggests interaction with nature (trees, bugs, etc.) has measurable positive effects on our intellectual performance, emotional well-being, and even physical health. I was most intrigued by the use of nature therapy to treat ADHD. I'm not sure how well the evidence would hold up (and will hold up if more studies are done), but it seems to make sense to me that kids need time outside to run around and interact with the natural world.

If you need any more reasons to turn off the computer, TV, or game console, check out this book. Of course, your time might be better spent on a hike or fishing.

A Place in the World

I've never read this blog before, so I can't recommend it in its entirety (though it may deserve to be recommended), but I loved this post which I found linked on a blog I do read.

Moms and Dads, enjoy (especially moms)!

Now It's Everywhere

It seems everywhere I look now, I see new support for homeschooling. I suppose it's a combination of looking for it more and actively seeking it out. Here's a link to that great journal I've mentioned before, First Things:

Homeschooling and the Christian Duty

It's a good response to those (none of whom have spoken to me) who argue parents who coose to homeschool their children are withdrawing from the world. Now that we're living in a little house in a neighborhood just as she describes (including a large number of older residents who complain about the "young set" down the street), I understand exactly how we could develop stronger relationships with our neighbors by being home all day. Since I work, it's not quite the same, but my mother-in-law has been out and about meeting people often.

I've Known It All Along

All those big corporations really are evil.

Born to Buy: The Commercialized Child and the New Consumer Culture
by Juliet B. Schor

This book has made me realize the evils of marketing and advertising are even worse than I had imagined (mostly because I try not to dwell on them). I was shocked to read about the studies showing negative impact of advertising on kids that are just being ignored by politicians and even educators. Josh and I didn't need any more evidence of the benefits of homeschooling, but this book provided more. Compulsory schooling is forcing our kids to attend schools that allow marketing agencies in (for a fee, of course) to insinuate themselves into kids' lives. And that doesn't even count programming like Channel One (which I'm sorry to say was in my high school though I only remember watching it a few times).

Josh and I aren't big into brands and don't even watch a lot of movies or TV, but reading this book has opened my eyes to some of the "advertising" we've allowed in without even realizing it (examples: the Oreo cookie game, Cheerios books, Elmo clothes, and all the clothes with brand names like Old Navy). I don't think we're going to get rid of them altogether (seriously, the Lightining McQueen toothpaste has changed toothbrushing in our home much for the better), but some things will find their way out the door never to return and much more will never make it home.

Especially if you are considering sending your kids to public schools (and perhaps even private or parochial ones), read this book (or one like it).

[Update: Apparently, there can be good in advertising.]

So Sad

I don't usually link to newspaper articles, but this one just broke my heart:

Prenatal Test Puts Down Syndrome in Hard Focus

Since Josh and I would never choose to abort a child, we recognize the possibility that our children may grow up in the world as a distinct minority, if we were to have a child with a disability. I worry about resources being diverted from treatments for conditions that often lead to abortions. It's already happening. The March of Dimes, for example, uses abortion as a way to decrease the incidence of birth defects. As if killing the child is a better way to address the problem than researching ways to treat a disease or providing support to enable a disabled child to reach his or her full potential.

I apologize if you're reading this after the article is no longer accessible.

A Well-Ordered Life

One of our favorite magazines (see previous post) had another little article I particularly enjoyed. It's one of the few they've chosen from the most recent issue to be available online to non-subscribers, so I wanted to post a link here.

Schooling at Home

Enjoy - and consider a subscription!

I Guess We'll Have to Home-School

Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
by John Taylor Gatto

Josh came across this book and I convinced him to let me take it on my trip last weekend even though he hadn't read it yet. (I'm interested to see what he thinks.)

The main points (and some interesting tidbits) of the book seem to be (much abbreviated because I don't have much time to chat nowadays):

1. Contemporary education is doing exactly what it was designed to do: teach kids to do what they're told, when they're told, as they're told, so they can work for the man (my paraphrasing).

2. Contemporary education doesn't need to be "fixed"; it needs to be thrown out completely. Apparently, Mr. Gatto believes the whole model doesn't work and will never work. He did make a good point. We've been "educating" kids in schools (age-based classrooms, teacher certification), etc., for 100-150 years. If we're to believe the media and politicians, it's failing our kids. If they haven't gotten it right, perhaps the problem is the whole model is flawed.

3. Between school and TV, kids don't have any time to learn anything about themselves.

4. No one cares more about your child's education than you, the parent.

5. Teacher certification is designed to make parents believe they are unfit to teach their own children.

6. As a society, we compartmentalize people too often based on age. Kids are "locked" in schools and the elderly are "locked" in nursing homes (or isolated in their own homes).

7. The main job of institutions is not the "purpose" for which they are created; it's to provide for a future for the institution itself. All the teacher colleges, textbook publishers, standards consultants, administrators, etc., have a vested interest in keeping schools running and giving them even more money - because that's how they stay in business.

It's a series of speeches and essays, no hard scientific evidence or studies, but I did find most of his arguments compelling. Josh and I have talked often about sending our kids to parochial schools or home-schooling them. My sister-in-law is going to home school her kids at least through 8th grade. (She's trained as a middle school math teacher and says administrators often require a certain number of grades so teachers would assign worksheets they hadn't even reviewed as homework, just to get another grade in the book - how awful is that?)

I'm still not convinced I'll have the patience to home-school, but I'm beginning to see the advantages may be worth the effort. In particular, I like the idea of making learning part of all life, not confined to 8 am to 3 pm. I also like being free of bells to end a class period, avoiding homework, covering topics with kids of different ages, family field trips (with other home-school families, probably), and decreasing opportunities for bullies, drugs and alcohol to hurt my kids.

The debate about how the Papsdorf kids will be educated continues; I'm sure you'll hear more about it. In the meantime, I'd like to know if anyone can read this book and not wish the tiniest little bit that you could home-school (even if you have absolutely no intention of doing so).

I also really liked that it's printed on 100% post-consumer recycled paper. You don't see that very often.

Moms Going Overboard

Confessions of a Slacker Mom
Muffy Mead-Ferro

I checked this book out from the library because I thought it would be funny, and it didn't disappoint. I was surprised, however, that it managed to cover some serious topics about how parents can do too much, worry too much, protect too much and (pertinent to the season), provide too much. One of the points I've thought about a lot recently (I read this quite a while ago now) is that it's hard not to buy things for your kids when you know you can afford it. I've had to be very careful with Caleb's birthday and Christmas this year to limit myself. It's very easy to get sucked in, thinking how he'd like something. I did cave and bought 4 books (or so) for him, but we stuck to just Lincoln Logs for his real gift. (Don't spoil the surprise! For those who are wondering, we decided not to buy any big present for Reva for Christmas. She's getting some books, though. I even wrapped them, though I realized it was pretty silly even as I was taping them up.)

Anyway, it's a very quick read. I think Josh finished it in an hour. The author's family history and stories she shares are as amusing as her style. So read and enjoy, and maybe walk away from an unnecessary purchase.

Boys Will Be Boys

Why Gender Matters: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know About the Emerging Science of Sex Differences
by Dr. Leonard Sax

Everyone should read this book. I was fascinated by the research Dr. Sax presents about the differences between boys and girls, and how their senses and brains develop differently. As always, I don't agree with everything in the book, but it's nice to have evidence of something I've always suspected - that boys and girls are different and need to be treated differently in some situations. Dr. Sax also provides exceptional endnotes with additional information and websites in addition to references to studies in journals like Journal of Genetic Psychology, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Developmental Psychology, Child Development, and Nature. He also quotes from Hardwired to Connect, a book sponsored by Dartmouth Medical School (among others).

And, as have a number of other books I've read recently, this one tempts me with more reasons to home school, at least for a while.

My sleep deprivation (despite being better than expected at Reva's age) prevents me from giving a more glowing review. Hopefully you'll believe me enough to give it a try and then will be tempted to continue by Dr. Sax's own evidence.

p.s. Tip #1: Girls hear better than boys, so a dad might not think he's yelling, but his daughter might hear him that way. And boys who seem to be distracted at school may need to sit closer to hear a soft-spoken teacher.

Childbirth On My Mind

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
by Ina May Gaskin

Shockingly, I've been thinking about childbirth a lot recently. I read this book on a recommendation from my friend, Meggan (who just had a little girl!). It's always interesting to read birth stories near the end of a pregnancy and they make up the first part of the book. I also liked reading about the midwifery practice with such great statistics. The medical establishment gets blasted pretty heavily, but I was grateful to learn that the worst of the procedures she talks about aren't common (at least at my hospital), thanks to my "insider".

Parts of it definitely met Josh's hippie standards (even the higher ones he has now that he's decided we're going to have a little 5 acre family farm someday with organic foods and things like shoats). Give it a chance and take what you can from it.

Moral Family Decision-Making

My Sister's Keeper
by Jodi Picoult

I've been wanting to read this book for a long time and finally picked it up last week with some birthday money. I was thrilled to find myself really enjoying it. Mostly I'd been interested in the idea of the plot - a 13 year old girl, chosen as an embryo to match her sister's DNA enough to be a cord blood donor for her brings a lawsuit against her parents to avoid donating a kidney after 13 years of giving of herself (literally) to save her sister's life.

First of all, I think the Ms. Picoult brings to the fore a lot of issues around designer babies in this kind of situation and others. To her credit, I can't tell from the book her opinion of the matter. Personally, I think deep down there's something in every human psyche tied to the way we are brought to life that is twisted when unnatural methods are used, in this case to choose a baby that could serve a specific purpose for someone else in the family. No amount of love can perfectly repair the damage. Anna shows us that.

Ms. Picoult's characters battle daily with hard moral questions most of us (thankfully) will never face. She does a wonderful job of bringing those battles to life within the story itself. These are not parents who do not love the third child they never intended to have. They do not even love her less than her older sister, Kate. In situation after situation, though, we see how Anna suffers for Kate. (Kate is suffering more, at least physically, but her suffering is caused by a disease, not by actions that can be traced to her parents.) I love, though, how memories of the past are sprinkled in to show the reader the good times with Anna and her family.

Most importantly of all, the writing and characters of this book are excellent. I often find myself disappointed in contemporary fiction. It just doesn't seem to stand up to past literary works. This may not be a the Brothers Karamazov, but I found myself entranced.

For those who are wondering, this was perhaps not the best choice for me in my present condition. I cried many times, especially when reading the flashbacks to when Kate was first diagnosed at age 2 - the same age my son is now. I too easily place myself in the shoes of characters (one reason I had to stop watching shows like CSI). I still highly recommend it, though.

Don't Be Pushy

The Trouble with Perfect
by Elisabeth Guthrie and Kathy Matthews

I agree with nearly everything in this book, and it was an easy read (a plus with a toddler in the house), but I'm still not sure if I want to recommend it. Why? Because it just makes sense, so you shouldn't need to read a book like this. I guess most of our friends don't fall into the crazy $30,000 a year preschool or life is over group, though we certainly ran into people like that in New York.

Let me sum up the book for you:

1. Don't be pushy - in sports, academics or other activities. Let kids do what's enjoyable and let them quit if it's not fun anymore. (Except the piano. I'm bound and determined Caleb will learn to play. He doesn't have to do any recitals and never has to tell anyone, but I think it'll be good for him, and all the other kids we have. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I always wanted to take piano lessons and never had the chance...)

2. Instead of signing your kids up for swimming (or soccer or baseball or softball), consider playing pick-up games with them instead. Good exercise for everyone and the kids will probably enjoy it more than organized sports anyway. Kids love to spend time with their parents. And parents shouldn't be afraid they don't know enough to share. (No offense to those teaching organized sports. I'm sure that's great, too. And we signed Caleb up for swimming lessons, but at his age we had to go. And we learned lots of things that we can do with him in the water without the class. He loves it.)

3. Realize that Mommy and Me classes are for Mommy, not the baby. There's nothing wrong with these classes, but they are not required (or necessarily even helpful) for baby's development. There may, however, be real benefits to giving Mommy (or Daddy) a reason to get out of the house and socialize with other parents.

4. Be realistic about giving your kids medication. Some kids need it, but a lot of kids are just more active or more creative than their classmates. Should they really be medicated for being themselves?

5. Ivy League college does not equal life-long happiness. Find a balance between encouraging academic and collegiate goals and helping kids understand there are some tremendous colleges out there that aren't in the top 20 of the Newsweek rankings. Josh and I both loved Dartmouth, but we recognize that it's not the place for everyone and that many other colleges can offer a great education. This one is a little easier for us than you might imagine since Josh will probably be a professor. That means, our kids are going to school where they receive free (or reduced) tuition or they're paying for it themselves. Sorry, kids, that's life. (Usually, they have many choices. We won't force them to go to the college where Josh teaches.)

6. Don't lie, cheat or steal to help your kids get ahead. They'll know it. It sets a bad example and undermines their confidence (in themselves and in your love for them). Plus, it's wrong.

I'm sure there are a lot of other little lessons that might be helpful, but these are some main points. If there's anything above you didn't already know, go ahead and read the book. Otherwise, go play with your kids.

An Article from First Things

First Things is one of Josh's favorite magazines, and one I usually enjoy as well. In the March 2006 issue was an article of particular interest to me, for reasons I think you'll understand.

In Moral Labor, by Agnes R. Howard (of Gordon College in Wenham, MA)

No, it's not about labor or unions, and it's not really about morality. Read the article in honor of Mother's Day (just a couple of weeks away). I also encourage you to subscribe to the magazine.