The Trouble with Perfect
by Elisabeth Guthrie and Kathy Matthews
I agree with nearly everything in this book, and it was an easy read (a plus with a toddler in the house), but I'm still not sure if I want to recommend it. Why? Because it just makes sense, so you shouldn't need to read a book like this. I guess most of our friends don't fall into the crazy $30,000 a year preschool or life is over group, though we certainly ran into people like that in New York.
Let me sum up the book for you:
1. Don't be pushy - in sports, academics or other activities. Let kids do what's enjoyable and let them quit if it's not fun anymore. (Except the piano. I'm bound and determined Caleb will learn to play. He doesn't have to do any recitals and never has to tell anyone, but I think it'll be good for him, and all the other kids we have. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I always wanted to take piano lessons and never had the chance...)
2. Instead of signing your kids up for swimming (or soccer or baseball or softball), consider playing pick-up games with them instead. Good exercise for everyone and the kids will probably enjoy it more than organized sports anyway. Kids love to spend time with their parents. And parents shouldn't be afraid they don't know enough to share. (No offense to those teaching organized sports. I'm sure that's great, too. And we signed Caleb up for swimming lessons, but at his age we had to go. And we learned lots of things that we can do with him in the water without the class. He loves it.)
3. Realize that Mommy and Me classes are for Mommy, not the baby. There's nothing wrong with these classes, but they are not required (or necessarily even helpful) for baby's development. There may, however, be real benefits to giving Mommy (or Daddy) a reason to get out of the house and socialize with other parents.
4. Be realistic about giving your kids medication. Some kids need it, but a lot of kids are just more active or more creative than their classmates. Should they really be medicated for being themselves?
5. Ivy League college does not equal life-long happiness. Find a balance between encouraging academic and collegiate goals and helping kids understand there are some tremendous colleges out there that aren't in the top 20 of the Newsweek rankings. Josh and I both loved Dartmouth, but we recognize that it's not the place for everyone and that many other colleges can offer a great education. This one is a little easier for us than you might imagine since Josh will probably be a professor. That means, our kids are going to school where they receive free (or reduced) tuition or they're paying for it themselves. Sorry, kids, that's life. (Usually, they have many choices. We won't force them to go to the college where Josh teaches.)
6. Don't lie, cheat or steal to help your kids get ahead. They'll know it. It sets a bad example and undermines their confidence (in themselves and in your love for them). Plus, it's wrong.
I'm sure there are a lot of other little lessons that might be helpful, but these are some main points. If there's anything above you didn't already know, go ahead and read the book. Otherwise, go play with your kids.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Monday, May 01, 2006
An Article from First Things
First Things is one of Josh's favorite magazines, and one I usually enjoy as well. In the March 2006 issue was an article of particular interest to me, for reasons I think you'll understand.
In Moral Labor, by Agnes R. Howard (of Gordon College in Wenham, MA)
No, it's not about labor or unions, and it's not really about morality. Read the article in honor of Mother's Day (just a couple of weeks away). I also encourage you to subscribe to the magazine.
In Moral Labor, by Agnes R. Howard (of Gordon College in Wenham, MA)
No, it's not about labor or unions, and it's not really about morality. Read the article in honor of Mother's Day (just a couple of weeks away). I also encourage you to subscribe to the magazine.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Fighting Diseases, Again
The Forgotten Plague
by Frank Ryan, M.D.
This book took me ages to get through. I can't really explain why since it is a well-written look at the lives and research of the scientists and doctors that pioneered the advances against tuberculosis. The best reason I can give is that the binding is a little tight and it hurt my hands to hold it open (already suffering from tendonitis from all the typing and clicking I do for work).
If you are interested in the fight against germs and want to go a little farther back in time, I do highly recommend Microbe Hunters by Paul de Kruif.
by Frank Ryan, M.D.
This book took me ages to get through. I can't really explain why since it is a well-written look at the lives and research of the scientists and doctors that pioneered the advances against tuberculosis. The best reason I can give is that the binding is a little tight and it hurt my hands to hold it open (already suffering from tendonitis from all the typing and clicking I do for work).
If you are interested in the fight against germs and want to go a little farther back in time, I do highly recommend Microbe Hunters by Paul de Kruif.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Make Money Work for You
Rich Dad, Poor Dad
by Robert T. Kiyosaki with Sharon L. Lechter C.P.A.
I've had this book on my shelf for at least four years since someone at NAF gave it to me, but I just read it yesterday. It only took a few hours and I'd say it was worth the time. I think I can sum it up for you, though:
1. Rich people don't depend on paychecks to get (or stay) rich. Before you even get your paycheck 1/3 to 1/2 is gone (taxes). The more you work and earn, the more you pay in taxes. Jobs mean you're working for someone else first, then the government second.
2. Pay yourself first. Don't buy a lot of doodads (like golf clubs, big screen TVs, cars, boats, etc) and then try to save what's left. The easiest way to do this is to invest in a 401K or some similar plan through your employer. According to the authors, if you start early enough, you might be able to save enough for a comfortable retirement, but you're not going to get rich.
3. Instead, the rich pay themselves first and use that money to purchase assets that will generate income (real estate, stocks, bonds, businesses, whatever). A house is not an asset. A house is a liability. You spend money on a house every month. (I liked this - it made me feel a lot better about not owning a house yet.)
4. Eventually, if you keep investing well, your investments will shelter you from government taxes. (Create a corporation you can spend the money on legal expenses and only pay taxes on what's left, not like income from a paycheck which is taxed first and then you can spend what's left.)
5. Also, you will be able to "retire" and live off the income generated by your assets - a paycheck without a job. Then you're rich.
Mr. Kiyosaki admits in the book that he's not a writer. His co-author is an accountant, also not a writer. The lack of a real author or a good editor was apparent in the book. Parts of it are repetitive, which I found annoying. But it's short and simple to read. I don't think Josh and I are going to run out and take a real estate seminar (which is how Mr. Kiyosaki started his fortune; apparently you really can buy a chocolate factory with no money down), but I'd like to make some changes in our saving and investment strategies.
Mostly the authors want to emphasize the importance of financial literacy. They aren't any real get rich quick schemes. You have to learn how to invest, and then invest. Good luck.
by Robert T. Kiyosaki with Sharon L. Lechter C.P.A.
I've had this book on my shelf for at least four years since someone at NAF gave it to me, but I just read it yesterday. It only took a few hours and I'd say it was worth the time. I think I can sum it up for you, though:
1. Rich people don't depend on paychecks to get (or stay) rich. Before you even get your paycheck 1/3 to 1/2 is gone (taxes). The more you work and earn, the more you pay in taxes. Jobs mean you're working for someone else first, then the government second.
2. Pay yourself first. Don't buy a lot of doodads (like golf clubs, big screen TVs, cars, boats, etc) and then try to save what's left. The easiest way to do this is to invest in a 401K or some similar plan through your employer. According to the authors, if you start early enough, you might be able to save enough for a comfortable retirement, but you're not going to get rich.
3. Instead, the rich pay themselves first and use that money to purchase assets that will generate income (real estate, stocks, bonds, businesses, whatever). A house is not an asset. A house is a liability. You spend money on a house every month. (I liked this - it made me feel a lot better about not owning a house yet.)
4. Eventually, if you keep investing well, your investments will shelter you from government taxes. (Create a corporation you can spend the money on legal expenses and only pay taxes on what's left, not like income from a paycheck which is taxed first and then you can spend what's left.)
5. Also, you will be able to "retire" and live off the income generated by your assets - a paycheck without a job. Then you're rich.
Mr. Kiyosaki admits in the book that he's not a writer. His co-author is an accountant, also not a writer. The lack of a real author or a good editor was apparent in the book. Parts of it are repetitive, which I found annoying. But it's short and simple to read. I don't think Josh and I are going to run out and take a real estate seminar (which is how Mr. Kiyosaki started his fortune; apparently you really can buy a chocolate factory with no money down), but I'd like to make some changes in our saving and investment strategies.
Mostly the authors want to emphasize the importance of financial literacy. They aren't any real get rich quick schemes. You have to learn how to invest, and then invest. Good luck.
The Way We Never Were
Huck's Raft: A History of American Childhood
by Steven Mintz
This is a long but interesting book that covers the experiences of children in America from Puritans and Colonial periods through the present. I was very impressed with it right up until we reached more modern times. I first checked the notes when I read broad generalizations about how divorce doesn't really hurt children as much as people feared and found (instead of supporting evidence) references to studies that did find dramatic effects into adulthood. It made me wonder then about some of Mr. Mintz's scholarship for the earlier chapters, though not enough to go back and check all the previous notes.
I gleaned a few overall points from the book. First and foremost, the way people remember childhood and the way we view childhood in past generations always leaves out the roughest lives. So Americans remember a childhood that never really existed. Childhood today is usually much better than for the majority of children in any given time in the past. (One difference for the worse seems to be an increasing proportion of children living below the poverty line, though the effects of poverty can be mitigated with some programs available today.)
Secondly is his belief that adults today view childhood and youth with ambivalence and therefore create greater stress and confusion for young people. The young are protected from "real life" in a world created for them (schools segregated by age, organized activities organized by age, lack of employment because of child labor laws, the need for advanced degrees before entering the work force) and yet are exposed more than ever to the harsh realities of life through TV, increased stress in schools with mandatory testing and the race to get into the "best" schools (from preschool to college), youth culture and consumerism. "The result is a deepening contradiction between the child as a dependent juvenile and the child as incipient adult."
Personally, as a woman of child-bearing age, I'm glad to live when I do. He calculates a Puritan woman's "lifetime chance of dying from childbirth ran as high as one in eight." Yikes. Also, throughout history, the mortality rate for children was enormous. Our children are much more likely to live to adulthood.
I do agree that children are separated too much from adults and other mentors. Extended families are spread throughout the country so aunts, uncles and grandparents are not as involved. Even interaction with adults in the community is curtailed, partly by the fact of school taking up so much time and also from parental fears (not entirely unjustified) of letting children roam around town with other adults.
I also think young people are not allowed to take on responsibilities as they grow older. I'm not suggesting I'd like to return to a time of child labor or that we'll need Caleb to contribute to the family welfare by working on the farm, but a 16 year old boy should be developing a sense of maturity and responsibility in some way besides getting good grades and not crashing the car. I know I didn't have much responsibility at that age - not even cooking dinner once a week. I survived, of course, but I think there could be great benefit in asking young people to contribute to family and society with activities appropriate for the age.
Luckily, we have some time to figure that out for our own kids.
by Steven Mintz
This is a long but interesting book that covers the experiences of children in America from Puritans and Colonial periods through the present. I was very impressed with it right up until we reached more modern times. I first checked the notes when I read broad generalizations about how divorce doesn't really hurt children as much as people feared and found (instead of supporting evidence) references to studies that did find dramatic effects into adulthood. It made me wonder then about some of Mr. Mintz's scholarship for the earlier chapters, though not enough to go back and check all the previous notes.
I gleaned a few overall points from the book. First and foremost, the way people remember childhood and the way we view childhood in past generations always leaves out the roughest lives. So Americans remember a childhood that never really existed. Childhood today is usually much better than for the majority of children in any given time in the past. (One difference for the worse seems to be an increasing proportion of children living below the poverty line, though the effects of poverty can be mitigated with some programs available today.)
Secondly is his belief that adults today view childhood and youth with ambivalence and therefore create greater stress and confusion for young people. The young are protected from "real life" in a world created for them (schools segregated by age, organized activities organized by age, lack of employment because of child labor laws, the need for advanced degrees before entering the work force) and yet are exposed more than ever to the harsh realities of life through TV, increased stress in schools with mandatory testing and the race to get into the "best" schools (from preschool to college), youth culture and consumerism. "The result is a deepening contradiction between the child as a dependent juvenile and the child as incipient adult."
Personally, as a woman of child-bearing age, I'm glad to live when I do. He calculates a Puritan woman's "lifetime chance of dying from childbirth ran as high as one in eight." Yikes. Also, throughout history, the mortality rate for children was enormous. Our children are much more likely to live to adulthood.
I do agree that children are separated too much from adults and other mentors. Extended families are spread throughout the country so aunts, uncles and grandparents are not as involved. Even interaction with adults in the community is curtailed, partly by the fact of school taking up so much time and also from parental fears (not entirely unjustified) of letting children roam around town with other adults.
I also think young people are not allowed to take on responsibilities as they grow older. I'm not suggesting I'd like to return to a time of child labor or that we'll need Caleb to contribute to the family welfare by working on the farm, but a 16 year old boy should be developing a sense of maturity and responsibility in some way besides getting good grades and not crashing the car. I know I didn't have much responsibility at that age - not even cooking dinner once a week. I survived, of course, but I think there could be great benefit in asking young people to contribute to family and society with activities appropriate for the age.
Luckily, we have some time to figure that out for our own kids.
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